Some days the mood strikes me. This is one of those days. The fact that I’m not Irish (not even today) is clear in the liberties taken with the sacred form.
A GOP man named Santorum
Hates sinners and sins, he abhors ‘em.
“Women taking the Pill?
It’ll take us downhill.”
I think ‘twould be best to ignore ‘im.
(I suppose I could have started this with the traditional, “There once was a man named Santorum,” but that would have been conventional and trite and we can’t have that, now can we?)
The hot topic of the day drew me in like an Irishman to an argument.
Those lacking a big frontal lobe
Are prancing all over the globe
Say casual sex
Our nation it wrecks
To dissuade you? The vaginal probe.
______
“Hell no!” U.S. women respond.
“With our dignity you won’t abscond.
You think we’re all tarts
With well-worn girl parts
You can keep your trans-vaginal wand.”
_______
And finally, one for the local boys.
Cub fans think that this is the season
How come? They’re not sure of the reason
Zambrano’s gone south
And he’s taken his mouth
And that by itself is quite pleasin’.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
The Local Paper 