- You were the best qualified candidate, but we’re going to move someone internal into the spot.
- Him: Have you considered asking [your former employer] if they’d hire you back? [Me: Now why didn’t I think of that!]
- Do you really need to work? Why don’t you just take your bankroll and become an investor?
- Me: I’m here for my meeting with (Jim). Her: Oh, he left the country yesterday. Did he not call you? [Me: If he’d have called me, do you think I’d be standing here right now?!]
- Him: You should call (New York billionaire private equity investor) Chris Flowers. I’m sure he knows lots of people that might be helpful to you. [Me: I’m sure he does. Why don’t I just call Geithner right away, too. That might save time.]
- Him: You’ve done a lot of great things. You wouldn’t be interested or challenged by what we do here. [Me: TRY ME! You’d be surprised the low level of things I’d find interesting or challenging.]
- Him: I called HR. We’re not hiring right now. [Me: Does that mean you won’t introduce me to the people that will eventually need people, you doofus?]
- Guys like you are a dime a dozen these days.
The Local Paper
Ninety percent of what I say is for my own entertainment.
